Life is busy, but there hasn't been much out of the ordinary lately. I read this book through the recommendation of our ward book club and I literally could not put it down. So far it ranks as my favorite of the year- I guess we'll see if something can replace it. I would rate it as something along the lines of a PG-13 standard.
One thing that stood out to me in this book is the historical aspect within the parenting relationship. In the entirety of my college education, I was only given one chance to write a research paper on any topic I wanted as long as it related to my major. I decided to write on how, historically, outside factors have influenced parental interactions with their children. I really wish there had been a class along those lines available at BYU, because I believe the historical setting in which we parent to be a major influence on how we act towards our children. It's an interesting idea to think that maternal love, something so innate and instinctual, can be manipulated by surrounding circumstances. For instance, during the Renaissance, at harvest time peasant mothers used to leave their crying babies in a type of sling hanging on the wall all day so that they could assist in the fields. Not surprisingly, many of those babies died of starvation as a result. There were so many horror stories like that that I came across about things I never considered. Anyways, within this book I found the aspect of having a black maid fulfilling the major role of a mother to be absolutely fascinating. Not to mention the fact that I felt that way a lot when I was a nanny for a few years.
Seriously, you have to read it.
When I look at my ancestors and what I know of their parenting style, I've found my grandparents and great-grandparents to be rather cold and distant. I don't know how much of that relates to the era in which they parented, or perhaps the fact that they lived rather difficult lives, but the more I talk with others about their family, it seems to be rather common for that day and age. I wonder what made them so inept at expressing their feelings. I know if you look more towards the 19th century it could be seen as easier to limit the love for a child because they may or may not reach adulthood, but I really don't understand what it was in the 1940s that attributed to what seems to be a higher than average proportion of emotionally repressed parents.
Perhaps I should be looking at the world through rose-colored goggles.
One last plug for the book. At the end of the novel, Stockett sums up a patriotic attitude that I have been trying to put into words for years.
Mississippi is like my mother. I am allowed to complain about her all I want, but God help the person who raises an ill word about her around me, unless she is their mother too.
Another thing that has been on my mind lately is concerning goals. I gave my testimony about it a few weeks back, but our home teacher brought it up again tonight. I've been wondering if it is harder to attain goals if you have never accomplished or known what it is you are working towards. In Conference they talked a lot about starting early with your children in making sure you are putting them on the right path. I reflected in my testimony that one of the problems of being a youth is that you don't have a good perspective in that you don't always see where people, especially peers, end up as a result of the choices that they have made in their lives. I wonder if that kind of perspective could dissuade youth from making similar mistakes.
Another problem is that sometimes you don't know what exactly it is that you are working towards. I came from a broken home where I didn't get to witness what a healthy marriage was. We didn't have close relationships with extended family and honestly the only exposure I got of healthy marriages was at church, but even that wasn't very in depth. I didn't know what a temple marriage was. Honestly, it was a lot like those in Lehi's vision who clung to the rod through the mists of darkness without really knowing what it was going to be like at the end. There was some part of me that knew this kind of relationship was desirable, but I had no idea how good it could be. I guess on the flip side, children who grow up in a healthy and happy home don't necessarily know how bad it can be when you make choices that lead to divorce, children out of wedlock, and so on. If I had known how good it could be, how good it has been, I wonder if that would have changed anything. I guess I would of had more hope and felt more urgency to get to where I wanted to be. And I would have dumped a lot of boys a lot sooner than I did. :) The vast majority of my goals are things I have never attained nor do I know what it would be like to attain them. No one knows what the celestial kingdom is going to be like, yet in the Church we work towards going there because we have faith that it'll be worth it. So far, in my limited, and often bumpy, experiences of following Christ, it has always been worth it.
Anyways, things are still going well here. Steve and I had the opportunity to go help at a community-wide effort by the Salvation Army to make one million meals for those in need in Haiti. It was an inspiring and touching experience to see so many people come to serve and help. Definitely quite the contrast from an earlier experience I had at a garage sale where two woman fought over a fake potted plant. People are strange. Steve has his prelim this Wednesday- cross fingers- and we are planning to go up and visit friends/go to the temple this weekend. Rowan's preschool is ending soon and I'm trying to find some activities to fill up our summer a bit- swimming lessons for sure and perhaps a sports class too. Nadia's blood test from last week came back fine and now we are just trying to encourage her to talk more. She says "no" and "uh-oh" with great consistency, but beyond that her interest in talking is still secondary to moving. One of these days that girl will start talking and if she's anything like her brother, she won't stop. After looking at this blog post, I wonder where he got that from...
