Post Something

This is going to be one of those posts where I get out a bunch of pent up feelings intermixed with the obligatory cute baby pictures because I'll feel guilty if I don't.  Life hasn't been easy this week and it seems to start becoming a pattern.  I miss my family.  I'm lonely.  And I don't feel like I'm thriving in any area of my life.  A few people have asked me if I'm experiencing post partum and my answer is I don't know.  My mom came a few weekends ago for Canadian Thanksgiving and I was happy when she was here.  If you are truly post partum you shouldn't be able to turn it on and off, right?  What I really think I'm dealing with is a lack of significant relationships out here in SC.  I like our ward and the people in it, but I see them once a week.  The rest of the time I'm usually at home with my children (whom I love dearly) and am just trying to keep the house in order and keep our commitments going.  In Illinois, a social exchange was just a walk away at the community playground.  I miss sidewalks, parks, playgroups, and friends who understood what it meant to have your husband gone so much.  Perhaps when I move from here I will miss things too like the beach, warm winters, a great backyard.  But I'm really not tied to the community and part of me wonders if I want to be considering we may only have less than a year here.

More likely than not we will be here another year.  Steve's applied to 4 positions which stands in stark contrast to the over 100 applications we did before we moved here.  The opportunities here are too good to just give up for a lesser position.  But I yearn to be closer to the people I love.  I want my kids to see their grandparents and extended family more than once a year.  Heck, I want to see them more than once a year.  In Illinois at least I felt like I was surrounded by people who felt the same way and so we banded together.  It's just different here.  Not in a necessarily bad way, but having a baby and being at home so much kind of exacerbates the problem.  Facebook is great, but it's a far cry from a real honest to goodness conversation.

A few weeks ago someone came up to me after my Sunday School lesson and told me that that was the best SS lesson he had ever been to.  After a year and a half, I finally felt like I was making progress and figuring things out.  I probably should have seen a new calling coming, but honestly I wasn't prepared for it.  Since I haven't actually been released yet I won't go into details though I doubt anyone from my current ward actually reads this blog.  But suffice it to say, I really wanted to keep this small part of my life where I felt like I was finally succeeding at something.  There's so many areas where I feel like I'm falling short and I'm a bit torn up that this one is being taken away right when I'm finally making headway.  Childish of me maybe.  Also ridiculous considering how much I cried when I first got called to Sunday School.

Bleh.  So that's me.  Stereotypical needy and emotional female.  I'm hoping I can chalk some of this up to sleep deprivation, sick kids and displaced anger at politics, but there's still a ring of truth to it all.

In other news, we moved all three kids' beds into one room so we could use one of the bedrooms as a playroom.  It was a bit of work as I decided to paint one of the rooms before moving the bunk beds and crib in there.  So far it's been working out wonderfully.  It's so nice to have my own bedroom back and not be stepping on Legos all the time when someone is crying in the night.  I love the separation of space and I hope it continues to be a good scenario.  

 Nadia in the new playroom

 Someone "booed" us and left a Spiderman pumpkin for us to decorate

Sometimes our evenings get a little crazy, which calls for communal bathing time.  

Elsie in one of Nadia's old dresses.  LOVE!!

Can't believe my little girl was this small not too long ago.  I love my girls!!

 The weather has FINALLY turned here to where my kids can stand being outside.  Hallelujah!!

Riverdance races- they're the latest craze.

 Canadian Thanksgiving with Grandma.  Miss you mom!

I think this is Elsa's first time on the swing.  She loves going outside.

Mom came on Friday afternoon and left Tuesday morning.  It was so much fun to have her here.  We went garage saling Saturday morning and went crazy at one sale where a shopaholic was selling all of her brand name clothes that just happened to be our size.  Most had the tags still on them and just to give you an idea of what we got, one skirt had a $190 price tag- we paid $5.  We bought a TON of stuff- it was awesome!!

4 in the bed and the little one said.  Elsa's in there somewhere.

Rowan ran the Boosterthon fundraiser at his school again this year.  He raised the most money in his class so thank you to everyone who contributed!  This year he ran one more lap than he did last year, so he was pretty proud of that.  Way to go Rowan!

Nadia and Elsa weren't too happy to be up that early.  Nice of them to cheer Rowan on though.

 He's in the blue shorts.

 Good work buddy!!

She's so tired poor thing!  :)

So that's us this month in a nutshell.  I'm grateful for all I have been blessed with and I know that no one has it all.  I'm trying to have a better attitude and see the positive in my life.  But some days you just need to let it out before you can move on.