I've been thinking a lot lately about my current state in life. As a disclaimer, let me say I'm grateful to be a stay-at-home mother and I'm grateful for a husband who can provide for that lifestyle. However, I don't know if I will miss this time in my life once it is gone. This past Sunday there was a talk about finding joy in the journey and one particular quote stood out to me. The premise of the quote was that you should enjoy the craziness of children because this moment is fleeting and soon you will miss the pitter patter of those feet. Is it strange if I don't know if I agree with that? Yesterday, both of my children were screaming and I had to decide whether to appease them or make dinner. Yesterday I realized that the majority of my day involves multitasking and that I rarely have a moment to myself. Yesterday I literally felt like a prisoner in my own home because it took several hours just to get out the door. Yesterday I spent an hour dressing and undressing my toddler while he tried to decide if he needed to go potty. Yesterday I had to clean poo off the floor. I have a feeling I will not miss yesterday 20 years from now. I'm half-tempted to take a video of days like this so that if I ever do miss this particular time in my life, I can remind myself that it wasn't all cookie dough and cuteness. I'm enjoying my life, but I also look forward to the future when I won't feel as stretched or frazzled. Joy in the journey, to me, is finding joy as you go without desiring to return to another point in time. The only reason I feel like going back in time is usually so I could do things differently. I feel that way a lot, even about yesterday.
Things are going well here though and I don't mean to be a downer. #1 is slowly learning to use the potty and I am slowly gaining patience with the whole process. N has gotten a really bad case of baby acne and I am starting to wonder if I will ever have a baby that doesn't have skin problems. At least this will go away after a while, but it has deterred me from taking a lot of pictures, poor little thing. #1 is such a good brother and I couldn't have asked for this transition to go better- he loves that little girl.
Before
And After- they even cover her ears- poor thing.
Toys Under Foot
Lately #1 has been constructing elaborate designs with his toys on the floor. Here's his fence and tower setup. He also loves taking pictures and has adopted our old camera.
I love these guys. Life is good even if I feel like screaming sometimes.
8 comments:
Thank you for writing that post so I didn't have to. Today was one of those days for me, and I'm very sorry to say that the best two hours of my day are the ones where both of my kids are napping. Love em to death, but I'm pretty sure I'll love them even more when one of them is old enough to babysit. Whew! That's my longest comment ever!!! Might I be passionate about this?!
oh my gosh she looks like steve!!!
yes, things get hectic with two and just wait until you get to be the referee of all the fights! Potty training will come in its own time. It took two weeks for Viktoria to figure it out and I thought that was a long time. You have to let them have accidents. Remember when I told you Payton found a "raisin" on the floor and ate it? I freaked out. Gotta love Viktoria and her rabbit poops. *sigh*.
First off, hello wonderwoman! Potty training with a newborn!?! That is beyond impressive! You are combining the two most horrific moments of motherhood: potty training and sleepless nights! So NO this will not be a time of your fondest memories!! However, there will be time in the not too far future when you will look back and say "holy freaking crap I am awesom! I potty trained while I was sleepless, nursing, and BEYOND EXHAUSTED!!!" Seriously. WONDERWOMAN.
I know how you feel. I wonder if I really will miss these days. Right now I have the early waking twin in a swing and the girls have been playing on the stairs (which I ask them not to do during nap time) and I now hear a second twin. Ugh.
When I was in college my bosses mother moved into Alzheimers very quickly. I remember he would sometimes have to leave work early to go and find her when she would escape the house in various degrees of undress and would be running the neighborhood screaming obscenities at people. This was a woman who had never even yelled at him in his whole life. Maybe on days like that we will miss the toddler pooh stage :( Sad thought!
As a husband, father and son, I'm glad you posted all of this. As crazy as some of the people I deal with in my job can be, it doesn't even compare to the constancy of trying to raise a kid. Our daughter would be doomed if I was the one trying to coax her into adulthood.
Raising a child (or children in your case) is NOT easy. Someone once said to me, "Well, for you staying at home, it must be very physically taxing, but I work in an office and it's more mentally taxing." Being a stay at home mom is physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually taxing. (I suppose it can be socially taxing, too, because you spend most of your time with people who can't really carry on conversations.) It's tough. Working full time was very difficult, but staying at home is hard, too. Just as hard if not harder. However, every so often, I do think about how quickly my little one has grown and that makes me a little sad. I don't want her leaving me too soon. (Granted I've still got 16-17 years left before she moves on, but I still think about it sometimes.) I think you follow that counsel about enjoying your little ones now in the way that matters- you appreciate the cute things they do and you treasure them.
I'm screaming with ya!
I hope I can look back with fondness on my children's childhood - and just be glad everyone survived. Everyone says having teenagers is worse, and I just cringe.
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