Before I was married and even contemplating having kids, I never imagined in my wildest dreams how difficult it would be. Not so much the actual raising of kids (I knew that would be hard after being a nanny), but the risks and obstacles with pregnancy and delivering the child into this world. It seems that I hardly know anyone who hasn't had difficulties at some stage of the process. Getting pregnant, keeping the pregnancy, delivering the baby- honestly it seems like a wonder that they are worried about overpopulation.
This is my sixth pregnancy. I thought my problems had been fixed with a surgery where they removed a septum in my uterus (bicornuate). When I went in for my first ultrasound with this pregnancy, they looked at exactly where the placenta was attached to make sure it wasn't near my former problem area which I was told caused my previous losses. Which made me wonder, why couldn't they have noticed that at least where the stillborn was concerned. They knew the septum would cause problems since there isn't much, if any, blood flow in there. Surely they would have noticed in my ultrasounds that that baby's placenta was partially attached to my septum. So I mentioned this to my current doctor and she seemed to question my former doctor's prognosis as well. Cue the onslaught of tests. After a while, she got back to me telling me that I was homozygous for MTHFR, which in her books means I am a blood clot waiting to happen. Wonderful.
Her solution was to get me on blood thinners, specifically Lovenox, a lovely little injection you do once a day. During this period of time we discovered some insurance issues that we were unaware of at the time and found we will be paying for most of this pregnancy out of pocket, minus the labor and delivery. That's a VERY long, convoluted story that I'll spare you, but suffice it to say that also means we're on the hook for prescriptions costs. Lovenox costs $1800 a month. Nice.
My doctor suggested applying for what is known as Compassionate Care for Lovenox, aka charity from a prescription company. Her nurse would "take care of it" in her words. So I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally I called this nurse asking for an update and she told me she hadn't gotten very far and I would have to fill out the forms myself. Thanks for letting me know! I proceeded to start the process by calling the program only to be informed that "this service will desist operations December 16, 2011".
So here I am. Part of me is leery that I even need this stuff. There seems to be a lot of differing opinions in the medical field about this particular genetic mutation. Regardless I've started taking baby aspirin and fish oil supplements hoping that that will be enough. I don't really want to kill our savings and go into debt just to take a drug that I MAY need. I just wish I had more concrete answers. All I can do right now is ride the train and see where I end up. Sadly that results in me waking up at 4am and having a pity party because I haven't felt the baby move that much. I've fully entered Paranoia-ville. My mom convinced me to order a fetal doppler to give me at least some peace of mind. Otherwise most of this situation is out of my control.
I have faith that this will all work out, but I can't say that that belief includes a healthy baby at the end of the tunnel. I'm starting to realize that faith has little to do with assurances of good outcomes, just that we will make it through. And we will make it through this, at least I know that much.
4 comments:
Oh wow Rachel! I like (and didn't like) what you said about faith there at the end. It's a tricky thing, that faith. As I was reading this my first thought was, "She should take fish oil and aspirin!" Apparently you're already on top of things! The only other thing I can think of is taking garlic. I know it has some anticoagulant properties as well... Have faith, but also have hope!! Easy to say. I'll be thinking about you!
Sorry Rachel :( I'll talk to Jason and see if he has any suggestions. I understood where you were going with that whole faith thing. I feel the same way...no guarantees on outcomes. I'll be praying for you.
Guess what? I have that mutation too! It's in the Thrombophilia category and there are six different types, I have four of them which is why I've miscarried like crazy. My doctor sent me in for the tests while I was pregnant with Grayson and I started taking baby aspirin then. My doctor says the lovenox really just gets you through to week 20 and then the baby aspirin should suffice. At least that was his conclusion for me based on my test results. He also put me on Foltex which is basically just more vitamins that would help me maintain my amniotic fluid (which is also an issue with the Thrombophilia)
I know this doesn't help, but it is always nice to know you're not alone in it. You and your baby are in my prayers. Love you!
Sorry to hear about all you've been going through. Thoughts and prayers to you and baby.
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