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This is going to be one of those posts where I get out a bunch of pent up feelings intermixed with the obligatory cute baby pictures because I'll feel guilty if I don't.  Life hasn't been easy this week and it seems to start becoming a pattern.  I miss my family.  I'm lonely.  And I don't feel like I'm thriving in any area of my life.  A few people have asked me if I'm experiencing post partum and my answer is I don't know.  My mom came a few weekends ago for Canadian Thanksgiving and I was happy when she was here.  If you are truly post partum you shouldn't be able to turn it on and off, right?  What I really think I'm dealing with is a lack of significant relationships out here in SC.  I like our ward and the people in it, but I see them once a week.  The rest of the time I'm usually at home with my children (whom I love dearly) and am just trying to keep the house in order and keep our commitments going.  In Illinois, a social exchange was just a walk away at the community playground.  I miss sidewalks, parks, playgroups, and friends who understood what it meant to have your husband gone so much.  Perhaps when I move from here I will miss things too like the beach, warm winters, a great backyard.  But I'm really not tied to the community and part of me wonders if I want to be considering we may only have less than a year here.

More likely than not we will be here another year.  Steve's applied to 4 positions which stands in stark contrast to the over 100 applications we did before we moved here.  The opportunities here are too good to just give up for a lesser position.  But I yearn to be closer to the people I love.  I want my kids to see their grandparents and extended family more than once a year.  Heck, I want to see them more than once a year.  In Illinois at least I felt like I was surrounded by people who felt the same way and so we banded together.  It's just different here.  Not in a necessarily bad way, but having a baby and being at home so much kind of exacerbates the problem.  Facebook is great, but it's a far cry from a real honest to goodness conversation.

A few weeks ago someone came up to me after my Sunday School lesson and told me that that was the best SS lesson he had ever been to.  After a year and a half, I finally felt like I was making progress and figuring things out.  I probably should have seen a new calling coming, but honestly I wasn't prepared for it.  Since I haven't actually been released yet I won't go into details though I doubt anyone from my current ward actually reads this blog.  But suffice it to say, I really wanted to keep this small part of my life where I felt like I was finally succeeding at something.  There's so many areas where I feel like I'm falling short and I'm a bit torn up that this one is being taken away right when I'm finally making headway.  Childish of me maybe.  Also ridiculous considering how much I cried when I first got called to Sunday School.

Bleh.  So that's me.  Stereotypical needy and emotional female.  I'm hoping I can chalk some of this up to sleep deprivation, sick kids and displaced anger at politics, but there's still a ring of truth to it all.

In other news, we moved all three kids' beds into one room so we could use one of the bedrooms as a playroom.  It was a bit of work as I decided to paint one of the rooms before moving the bunk beds and crib in there.  So far it's been working out wonderfully.  It's so nice to have my own bedroom back and not be stepping on Legos all the time when someone is crying in the night.  I love the separation of space and I hope it continues to be a good scenario.  

 Nadia in the new playroom

 Someone "booed" us and left a Spiderman pumpkin for us to decorate

Sometimes our evenings get a little crazy, which calls for communal bathing time.  

Elsie in one of Nadia's old dresses.  LOVE!!

Can't believe my little girl was this small not too long ago.  I love my girls!!

 The weather has FINALLY turned here to where my kids can stand being outside.  Hallelujah!!

Riverdance races- they're the latest craze.

 Canadian Thanksgiving with Grandma.  Miss you mom!

I think this is Elsa's first time on the swing.  She loves going outside.

Mom came on Friday afternoon and left Tuesday morning.  It was so much fun to have her here.  We went garage saling Saturday morning and went crazy at one sale where a shopaholic was selling all of her brand name clothes that just happened to be our size.  Most had the tags still on them and just to give you an idea of what we got, one skirt had a $190 price tag- we paid $5.  We bought a TON of stuff- it was awesome!!

4 in the bed and the little one said.  Elsa's in there somewhere.

Rowan ran the Boosterthon fundraiser at his school again this year.  He raised the most money in his class so thank you to everyone who contributed!  This year he ran one more lap than he did last year, so he was pretty proud of that.  Way to go Rowan!

Nadia and Elsa weren't too happy to be up that early.  Nice of them to cheer Rowan on though.

 He's in the blue shorts.

 Good work buddy!!

She's so tired poor thing!  :)

So that's us this month in a nutshell.  I'm grateful for all I have been blessed with and I know that no one has it all.  I'm trying to have a better attitude and see the positive in my life.  But some days you just need to let it out before you can move on.  

Just Hanging Out

 

Playdate with Ellie- a friend in our ward.

 Steve has been really good about playing board games with the kids on Sunday.  It's a nice low key activity that the kids love.  Elsa watched from the exersaucer.  :)

Elsa has Steve's hairline.  :)  She's my baldest baby to date.

 

Both Rowan and Nadia needed a current family picture for school.  It rained outside the day we planned to do it, so we did a quick inside shot.  I'm hoping to get some professional ones done in the not too distant future.

Just hanging out in the morning watching Elmo baby toys from afar (because up close they are apparently too scary).

It's true! 

A Quick Update

I'm trying to keep up with life and failing miserably.  There's so much I want to do and only so many hours in the day.  Elsa is such a great baby and I love her to pieces, but her naps are rarely longer than 30 minutes and she demands a lot of time and attention.  So when I do have a spare moment, usually I'm just trying to keep up with the house, a few projects I'm taking on, Sunday School- the list goes on.

Rowan is loving school and doing well.  He gearing up for his Boosterthon fundraiser this week (Thank you again to all who have contributed!  He raised the most money in his class!).  I want to get him started in some kind of sport after school, so hopefully we can start doing that soon.  We're still watching our neighbors' kids several times a week after school and we've been enjoying lots of play time with them.  Nadia is still doing really well at preschool and it's been so good for her to get out of the house.

 I don't know if I've ever mentioned this on the blog before, but we've been struggling to get Nadia to talk to people outside of our family.  She's always been shy, but back in Illinois she had friends and would talk to them.  With moving to SC, we've taken a while to adjust to the ward and make friends.  In the meantime, Nadia really retreated into herself and wouldn't talk even to me if there were other people present.  I did a coop preschool with some other moms and after a year, she still wouldn't talk to the moms or the kids.  She'd nod her head and respond to what they were asking her to do, but mums the word otherwise.  It's been difficult and heartbreaking when we go to playgroup and other kids would try to engage her.  This year we're really working on her to come out of her shell.  Preschool three times a week has been a great way to get working on this.  I'm also signing her up for speech classes to help with her lisp and help her get more confidence talking.  While it's cute to hear her say "whobody did this?" and "It's we're room", it's clear she still missing several sounds in her speech and has difficulty finding the right words to express herself at times.  Having kids over after school has helped and she is talking great with Becca and Josh so that's been good.  I've also started to ask more people over for playdates and she is leaps and bounds from where she was last year.  But there is still room for improvement and I hope this year in preschool will help a great deal.

Steve is applying for jobs this week, so keep us in your prayers.  We still have 2 years of funding here if we choose to stay longer.  Ultimately I just want to end up wherever is best for our family.  I look forward to putting down roots somewhere, but SC is continually getting better for us and I'm happy to stay longer.

Some pictures from today.  Elsa was quite popular at church, especially with her super cute shoes.  Thanks Krystal!

It's pretty clear that Elsa rules the roost and our hearts right now.  Everyone has a hard time NOT kissing her all the time.

In other news, I had a yard sale with some friends in the ward yesterday.  It was interesting to be on the other side of the transaction this time.  It felt good to get rid of some things I've been holding on to and make some money in the process.  I woke up at 4am because I remembered some other things I wanted to sell, so by the time the sale was done, I was ready for a nap!  But it's definitely something I want to do again before we move.  I'm hoping to downsize a lot more than I did with our last move.

Good Morning!

I haven't blogged at all this month!  For shame.  I'll get right on it today as long as this little one cooperates.

What's New? What's Old?

What's new?  Well, someone turned into a big first grader.

Offsetting the USA shirt with the Canadian backpack.  Rowan couldn't find a Minecraft backpack, so we improvised with pins.

Grandma bought the kids new back to school shoes.  They light up- what could be better?

Rowan is LOVING being back in school and we are loving being back on a schedule.  I feel so much more productive and we're settling into a good routine.  I'm still watching my neighbor's kids a few times a week after school and that's been going well too.  Rowan has been very responsible about making sure he has his backpack ready every evening and doing homework when necessary.  He loves having a desk of his own and has already made a few new friends.  We're looking forward to a good year with Mrs. Jackson.  

Someone else turned into a brand new preschooler...

This is actually just a preschool registration day, but Nadia insisted on getting fully decked out for the occasion.

Nadia actually has two kitty backpacks to choose from each day.  I don't know what she'll end up putting in them, but a girl needs options.

And of course Nadia needed a Minecraft pin on hers too.

Kitty shoes that light up on their noses.  Someone is a genius in marketing.

Someone else is the sweetest baby in the world.  Elsa probably cries the least of all of our children now.  And she is rolling over, laughing, and cooing like crazy.  Her lame mommy doesn't have much video it...yet.  For shame.

But I did get a video of her learning to play with her toys on her vibrating chair.  She also likes to rock the chair by kicking her right leg.  We're pretty sure she's right handed.

A little bit of the laughing

I cannot emphasize enough how much Elsa loves this chair.  She sleeps, plays and sits in it all the time.

What's old?  Well, here's a ton of pictures from Elsa's blessing day.  Steve's parents were able to come and be with us for it and we are so grateful that they were here.

 

Aren't you done yet?

I really need to get Steve to take more pictures of me and the kids...

Grandma and Grandpa Luke played with us for a week before they headed back to Burley.  Soon they will move to a new house and job in Washington.  I'm crossing my fingers for an opening out there so we can see them more often.  Once a year just doesn't cut it, but we were glad for the precious time we had together.

 The kids made some Happy Birthday cards to Grandpa Luke before he left.

Nadia showed Grandpa how you are supposed to dance.

 

We miss you both!!!