Seriously- best class ever!
In this video, Carli has them using wax paper on carpet to figure skate- how clever is that!
This weekend I also got to give a talk at church, which was a good experience because I got to talk on something I've been struggling with lately- self-mastery. I'm posting it here so I'll have a hard copy later on when I print it off, so hopefully you don't mind me sharing. I LOVED discussing this topic with Steve- he is such a smart man and I'm so grateful for his wisdom and his support in helping me get the things done I needed to this week.
The Process of Self-Mastery
On my kitchen counter there sits an empty mason jar with the words “Luke Family Vacation” taped onto it. For several months this jar has sat there, forlorn and abandoned, with a bowl full of marbles next to it. My husband and I made a goal several months ago and this jar was supposed to be the visual marker of our progress- each time we completed the task in question we were to put a marble in the jar and when it was full we were going to go on a mini vacation somewhere. Every day as I wipe off my counters I look at this jar and feel waves of guilt because I have not gotten anywhere with it. My mother during a recent visit filled the jar with money thinking we were trying to save up for a vacation, but were just too poor to have gotten anywhere. I guess that dispels the notion that slackers never prosper.
The topic I wish to talk about with you today is one that I am in obvious need of and something that I have been pondering for some time now - The Process of Self-Mastery. Self-mastery is the ability of your spirit to control your body, the ability to control the appetites and desires of the natural man. You exercise self-mastery when you choose to do God’s will instead of your own. As we do so, we follow the example of the Lord when he said “Father, … not my will, but thine, be done”. However, self-mastery is as Spencer W. Kimball stated “a continuous program, a journey, not a single start. Men do not suddenly become righteous any more than a tiny acorn suddenly becomes an oak.” It is this process that I would like to talk about today.
One of the first problems we may encounter is seeing too many areas for change. We know we have come to earth to progress and learn, but sometimes we get stalled in our path because we do not know which direction to go. The strait and narrow path is not always easily mapped out with step by step instructions. As Latter Day Saints, each Sunday we come to church and hear talks and lessons about various gospel principles- all of which we are likely in need of implementing and improving on in our lives. Twice a year we attend General Conference where we hear a multitude of talks designed to inspire us to improve and progress. But where do we begin? If you are like me, you’ll find yourself at several points during the year making resolutions because you feel like your progression has hit a roadblock. I often find myself with my family listing out goals in physical fitness, spiritual needs, financial responsibility, and emergency preparedness in an effort to jump start my progression. At times my family makes headway in one or two of our goals, but more often than not we find ourselves making the same goals time after time. My good intentions seem to end up as empty jars on my kitchen counter because I take on too much all at once.
Another reason why we may not be progressing is because we are resistant to the Spirit and think we do not need to change. Sometimes we are content to live our lives, not realizing that our spirituality is slowly deteriorating. By neglecting the need to evaluate our spiritual progress, we choose self-abandonment over self-mastery. Maybe we don’t realize that by deciding not to enter into the Lord’s fold we will be like those in Alma 19:32, “who would not hear his words; therefore they went their way.” We must take a personal inventory of our time and efforts to see where our priorities lie. In the Sunday School Manual- Teach Them Correct Principles it states: “A person, and especially one who has been commanded to receive the Holy Ghost, must actively resist the promptings of the Spirit in order not to have the Spirit strive with him.” Our responsibility in this matter is certain- if we feel we are not being prompted to become better it is because we are resisting change and resisting the Spirit.
In either case, whether we are overwhelmed with the standard of perfection or we are resisting change, the first step towards self-mastery is the same. The Lord tells us in the book of Ether 12:27: “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” When you make a goal or set out to improve your life, do you counsel with the Lord first or are you trying to be the captain of your own ship? Do you seek his guidance in what weakness needs attention the most at that point in time? The Lord knows not only our weaknesses, but also what challenges and trials lie ahead of us. To refuse to use such a resource and strengthen ourselves against the adversity and afflictions that are sure to come is to go blindly into treacherous waters. There are many in this world who do just that by having goals that are impeding their spiritual growth. Some seek power or the admiration of the world and as they attain it they seal their own spiritual destruction. By asking the Lord first what we need to work on in humility, we ensure that we are not directing our efforts towards unworthy goals and that we are on the right course for us. Each of us has different weaknesses and different trials and as such, we need the Lord’s perspective in order to know how to navigate the course before us.
Sometimes we expect more of ourselves than the Lord expects of us. Perfection will not be attained overnight and the Lord knows this. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught, “When you climb up a ladder, you must begin at the bottom, and ascend step by step, until you arrive at the top; and so it is with the principles of the gospel—you must begin with the first, and go on until you learn all the principles of exaltation. But it will be a great while after you have passed through the veil before you will have learned them.” We do not need to sit down and write down every area that we judge ourselves to be falling short of in the hopes that we will jump leaps and bounds ahead of where we currently stand with super human strength. The Lord has said “I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more.” We live in a culture where large scale changes are revered and promoted, but it’s unreasonable to expect a total spiritual makeover overnight. That’s not to say that we can’t experience a sudden change of heart like Alma the Younger did. Our hearts can be changed in but a moment, but the work, the self-mastery, is a process. Self-mastery is often a slow journey with incremental steps towards heaven. What matters most is that we ask the Lord where we need to start and that we follow His counsel, trusting in his ability to lead us where we need to go. What matters most is that we are moving forward with Christ leading the way.
So we know where we must start, but what then? Once we have sought the counsel of the Lord on where our efforts would be best focused and we have received his answer, the next step we need to take is to commit to do what he has asked of us. If there is one thing the Lord cannot do, it is to take away our agency- we must be willing and sincere in our intent to change.
If we receive an answer to our prayers and then grudgingly go forward, our work will be considered wasted before the Lord. In Moroni it says “For behold, God hath said a man being evil cannot do that which is good; for if he offereth a gift, or prayeth unto God, except he shall do it with real intent it profiteth him nothing. For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness. For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God.” When we apply this standard to our own efforts to change, we should ask ourselves: How much of what we do is counted as a worthy gift to the Lord? It is of no use to us to commit to do something that the Lord has commanded and then do it grudgingly. If we attend our church meetings only because our parents or spouse dragged us there, it is as if we never left our home. We must be willing to be led and commit with real intent to act on the Lord’s counsel.
After we have counseled with the Lord and committed to act on his counsel with real intent, we then need a plan. It is not enough to say “I’m going to become a nicer person”; You need to have concrete ideas about how you are going to do so. In a discussion about improving on scripture study in a Relief Society meeting a while ago, I remember Becky Payne telling us that she correlated scripture study with a meal time because that was something that she did every day and thus she didn’t forget her commitment. When we make a plan, we should still counsel with the Lord as to how we will move forward, but we can have a lot of choice in the matter. What do we want and what can we do to get there? What will we do if we falter? It will take time and it will take effort, but without an idea of how you are going to get where you want to be, you are sure to be lost. One of the first things the Lord did when we gathered in the premortal existence was present to us a plan explaining how we were to return unto Him again. Imagine what this life would be like if we had no plan, but were just aimlessly living, uncertain as to how to return to our Heavenly Father. We must plan in order to succeed.
There are two possible areas that we could be working on- either we are repenting of sins of commission or sins of omission. In the Miracle of Forgiveness it says “The purity and perfection we seek is unattainable without this subjection of unworthy, ungodlike urges and the corresponding encouragement of their opposites. We certainly cannot expect the rules to be easier for us than for the Son of God, of whom it is recorded: Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;”
First I’d like to focus on sins of commission- the things that we are counseled not to do, but do anyways. When we attempt to change we cannot be like an alcoholic who sits in a bar and tells himself “I will not drink, I will not drink.” Temptation is not something we withstand or arm wrestle with, it is something we run away from- it is something we seek to escape. Just as Joseph of Egypt did when Potiphar’s wife tried to tempt him, we should flee at the first sign of trouble. In 1st Corinthians it says “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” There is no good in seeing how close to the edge of the cliff we can dance until we fall over, God has promised us the opportunity to escape before the natural man takes over, but we must take that opportunity. We cannot avoid scenarios of temptation- we will be tempted, but we can avoid the thoughts and prolonged exposure that will surely lead to our downfall. In Matthew 26:41 it says “Watch and pray that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak.” The doors of temptation are before us, but it is our choice whether we will open them and enter in.
When we have a plan in place, we can more easily avoid the pitfalls of temptation. We will know what we are going to avoid and what to do if we slip up. If our plan is specific enough we will know that after every paycheck you will pay tithing. If our plan is specific enough we will know that every time we find ourselves filled with anger while driving, we will pull over until we can get our emotions under control. Rather than just planning on being nice or paying tithing, our attention to detail when creating a plan will pull us through.
David E. Sorensen gave a great talk called “You Can’t Pet a Rattlesnake” discussing ways to avoid temptations. He said “To avoid such temptations, be like Captain Moroni of old; set up “fortifications” to strengthen your places of weakness. Instead of building walls of “timbers and dirt” to protect a vulnerable city, build “fortifications” in the form of personal ground rules to protect your priceless virtue. Remember, such “fortifications” are not a sign of weakness. On the contrary, they show strength. The scriptures tell us Captain Moroni was so strong that if all men would be like him, “the very powers of hell would [be] shaken forever.” Remember Moroni’s “strongholds” were the key to his success. Creating your own “strongholds” will be the key to yours.” These fortifications that Brother Sorensen mentioned become stronger the more we plan for every situation. A specific plan lessens the room for error. By deciding now what you will do when faced with a challenge, you will have saved yourself the agony of trying to make a decision in the heat of the moment.
We commit sins of omission when we neglect to keep a commandment we have been counseled to keep. Self-mastery is not merely avoiding doing bad things; it also involves being actively engaged in good works. President Kimball addressed this when he said “One of the most serious human defects in all ages is procrastination, an unwillingness to accept personal responsibilities now. … Many have allowed themselves to be diverted and have become … addicts to mental and spiritual indolence and to the pursuit of worldly pleasure.” Often what prevents our progress the most is the distractions the world provides. It is easy to become comfortable in pursuits that may not be in our best interest because they appeal to the natural man. Self-mastery is not an easy path- imagine if an Olympic athlete decided that instead of training every day as he should for an upcoming event, he would rather play on the Internet or watch soap operas. It would seem comfortable and easy for him, but when the day came for him to compete he would be sorely unprepared for and even endangered by the challenges that lay ahead of him. Are we preparing ourselves for this world of decaying morals and spiritual hurdles? Are our spiritual habits consistent and are we continuing to improve ourselves despite temptations around us to rest on our laurels? David O McKay captured the thought well when he said “What progress can there be for a man unconscious of his faults? Such a man has lost the fundamental element of growth, which is the realization that there is something bigger, better, and more desirable than the condition in which he now finds himself.” Self-mastery is not easy, but it is most certainly worth the effort.
The process of self-mastery does not end with counseling with the Lord about what we should do and then making a plan. Ultimately, what self-mastery comes down to is our determination to do what we have set out to do. We must use our agency to make the right choice and we must act, because the choice to do so is ours alone. No one can drag us to heaven. We must choose for ourselves, but it is easier to make the right choice when we do those steps that I have previously mentioned. We must endure to the end and as President Faust so eloquently said “Self-mastery requires climbing out of the deep valleys of our lives and scaling our own Mount Everests.”
Anne C. Pingree made a valid point in the December 2004 Ensign when she wrote “Sometimes, in spite of all we do to “make weak things become strong,” the Lord, in His infinite wisdom, does not take away our weakness. The Apostle Paul struggled throughout his life with “a thorn in the flesh,” which he said served to humble him “lest [he] should be exalted above measure” (2 Cor. 12:7). Three times Paul asked the Lord to take away his weakness, and three times the Lord declined to do so. The Lord then explained that His grace was sufficient for Paul and that, in fact, His strength was actually “made perfect in weakness.” Then Paul wrote, “Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong” (2 Cor. 12:9–10).”
Sometimes our weaknesses serve to bring us closer to Christ and they will not be overcome in this lifetime. We can choose to be discouraged by that idea or we can see the need more than ever to come unto Christ and let him lift our burdens because when we are in His arms, counseling with Him about our difficulties and desires to improve, they will not be so heavy. As Christ has said, “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
And then I bore my testimony... I am so grateful for gaining a better understanding of where I was going wrong when I was trying to improve myself. Hopefully in a later post on this blog you will see a jar full of marbles signifying that I have indeed taken these things to heart.
